Note:
This topic has been translated from a Chinese forum by GPT and might contain errors.
Original topic: 【TiDBer 唠嗑茶话会 36】家庭、生活和工作大家都怎么平衡的？
Hi, programmers, this time our chat session will not discuss technology, but rather everyday life~
In many people’s perception, programmers = lots of overtime,
But in life, it’s inevitable to balance family, life, and work~
So let’s discuss together!
Thanks to @xfworld for contributing this topic.
This Topic:
How do you balance family, life, and work?
For example, if you’re very busy from Monday to Friday and just want to lie down on the weekends, when do you find time to learn and improve yourself? When do you do self-review and reflection? And how do you carve out time to spend with your kids and family?
Activity Rewards:
Participation reward: 50 points
Activity Time:
2022.08.26-2022.09.02
Work hard to complete tasks during working hours, cherish time after work to do what you can for your family, and if you have normal rest on weekends and holidays, start gatherings or travel activities with family or friends.
Living apart from my spouse and children (the elder and younger ones), I am the only one in the city.
Weekdays
During work hours, I roll up my sleeves and work hard at the company. After work, I roll up my sleeves and study hard at home. Sometimes, I remotely tutor the elder one with their homework.
Weekends
I return to the county to reunite with my spouse and two children. I accompany the younger one in reading and storytelling; I take the elder one to training classes and chat and study together in the study room.
I spend little time with my family, and if there’s a pandemic, it might be several months before I can reunite with my spouse and children. My spouse handles most of the household chores alone and occasionally vents to me. 
I am also grateful to my spouse for bearing so much.
Work: Roll up your sleeves and work hard!
Off work: What is off work…
Work is busy, so I can only squeeze in study time after work. Learning is endless, but energy and time are limited. How can one balance work and life?
During work hours, more focus and efficiency are needed;
However, this can also bring problems. After work, I feel completely drained and exhausted when I get home.
There are also a bunch of household chores to deal with after getting home. I think everyone has to face this issue.
An elder once told me: “If you do a bit more, your family can do a bit less and rest more.”
Honestly, I haven’t done well. I need to thank my wife, who, even when exhausted, still puts in a lot of effort to handle the housework.
What I can do is try to consider more things and let her worry less…
Then, I encourage her to exercise with me to stay healthy.
Balancing time for kids and learning is like squeezing out time; it’s really hard to balance, to be honest…
On weekends, I just want to lie down and play dead 
but in reality, I can’t. I can only occasionally sleep in and try to make up for things I didn’t do well during the week.
I hope everyone doesn’t end up like me and can have more time for themselves and their families. After all, life is a long battle…
Don’t let yourself feel like you’ve wasted time or have regrets in the future.
You can’t Save or Load, so plan each day well～～ 
Focusing wholeheartedly on work, slacking off, and sleeping in, without the pressure of having a family for now. Talking about it makes me cry (~~Distant Her).
Right now, I just want to find a hobby, a healthy hobby, that can alleviate the unpleasant feelings brought by work.
Extreme balance, over 30 years old, not married.
I’ve been traveling a lot recently to relieve stress. I go for a run in the morning. “This hopeless job” 
Today is Friday, and I’ve been working for six consecutive days. Tomorrow I’ll be working from home, and the day after I’ll be working at the office. I’m dedicated, I love my job, and I’m proud. Let’s hustle.
During the busy times from Monday to Friday, maintain a good mindset to alleviate the fatigue brought by work.
It’s hard to balance. I go home once or twice a week and rent an apartment near the company during the weekdays.
Work diligently on weekdays, take time to learn new knowledge when busy. Share household chores during regular days, and spend weekends relaxing with family.
Balancing work and life is very difficult. The more you try to balance, the more it feels like you can’t manage either well. So, at different stages, just choose to focus on one aspect.
Balancing life:
Out of the 7 days a week, improve efficiency at work and arrange your schedule reasonably. Try to leave work early on 2 evenings to spend time with your child. Then, allocate 2 evenings a week for 2-4 hours of exercise. Although you might stay up late, sweating it out makes you feel good, and everything seems to go smoother.
Improving yourself:
It’s hard to improve yourself at home. Basically, I rely on taking one day on the weekend to go to the office early and study quietly for 5-6 hours. Then, I feel guilty about not being with my child, so I rush home to spend time with them after studying. If I’m really exhausted, I’ll take a day off for childcare (thanks to the government! Finally, a benefit for those born in the '80s!).
PS: Thanks to my parents-in-law and parents for helping out with the child as “migrant elders.”
PPS: Discovering small joys “nearby” can enhance happiness. For example:
- When tired, take a taxi to work (and have the energy to chat with the driver for a bit).
- Call a close friend for a few minutes on the way to and from work to compare hardships.
- Do a good deed every day…
Life is for work, and work is for life.
I think this is a matter of perspective. When in a difficult situation, one should focus on self-improvement; when successful, one should help others.
As an ordinary employee, the priorities should be family > learning > life > work. If work is the top priority, then there is a lack of upward mobility.
As for the leadership, it feels like the priorities are learning > work > life > family. Just my personal speculation. 
The “King of Hard Work” believes that work is life.
On weekdays, focus on working hard, and weekends are for family time, do not disturb otherwise.
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